February 26, 2001
Last week I got on a roll, thinking about men and women. Have you ever seen that book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus? I’ve never read it, primarily because I thought the title was so stupid. Because if men truly were from Mars and women were from Venus, we would not have nearly as much trouble with each other.
Think about it: if we were really from different planets, we might have more appropriate expectations of each other. When I met a woman, I’d think of her less as a woman and more as a Venusian. Under that kind of circumstance, I might put more thoughtfulness and care into getting to know her. For her part, the woman would be thinking the same thing.
Hell, if you had a fight you both might get on rocket ships and split to your respective planets for a while to help chill things out.
Actually, most men really think women are from a completely different universe in a totally other dimension.
All this talk of men being from Mars and women being from Venus does, in fact, help explain gay people. If you think of the sexes as two different species, then gay people are folks who just prefer to hang out with their same species. I mean, if your pal says, “Hey Moe, let’s go hang out with the aliens,” you might just decide to stay on your own planet and have fun with your own kind. I can understand that.
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, who is from Earth? Did God just put Earth here as the place where the men and women — or in this case the Martians and the Venusians — could meet? The idea that God created Earth as the equivalent of one giant planetary singles bar might upset a lot of religious people, but I think it’s an interesting idea.
Among other things, if men and women were really from different planets, then there wouldn’t be a hole in the ozone layer and the Earth might really be a better place.
The fact is, though, we are all from the same planet. And at some point, we may even accept that fact.
And even though it is now in vogue to talk about how much men and women are different, the truth is that we are more alike than different.
Maybe once we just accept that we’re all very much alike, then things like spousal abuse and rape will become a faint memory in this country.
Different planets, right! We spend so much time reading books that tell us how different we are that it’s easy to overlook how similar we are.
And we’re alike in some really simple ways — the desire to get down being one of them. In the end, we all just want to be loved. As crazy as the world can seem, sometimes I think that’s really just the whole point. Men, women, gays, celibate monks — everyone is looking for the same thing; love. We have that in common, so what more do we need to know?